Even though Gail Miller has been out of the closet for more than two decades, the 70-year-old says the struggle for equality continues for seniors seeking services in an LGBTQ-friendly environment.
The Good Companions Seniors’ Centre, where Miller has volunteered for 10 years, started that shift in 2012 with the help of the Ottawa Senior Pride Network.
“It’s about time that the older people could hear the truth about what goes on in our lives. It’s not something to be hidden away,” says Miller, on break from her post as cashier during the daily luncheon. “It’s the freedom of being yourself no matter what age.”
She said it can be difficult for people to change, especially for a generation that didn’t grow up with any openness around homosexuality.
“I am who I am. I’m full of fun, I’m crazy. I go in the fashion shows, I make them laugh. They’ve learned — so she’s a lesbian, big deal,” says Miller. Even though she was open about her sexuality, not everyone at the centre knew Miller is a lesbian, something the centre’s new status soon corrected.
She said the new queer-friendly approach is working; some members have come out and it has brought in queer clientele who recognize the centre as a safe and open space. And there’s also been a change in the few who disapproved.
“Their faces are changing,” Miller says of members who were uncomfortable with her sexuality. “They’re being more pleasant at cash. It’s a softer atmosphere now.”
There was an adjustment period for the centre’s more than 1,000 members, says Russ Gallant, director of operations.
“We brought it in slowly. Some didn’t come back, and we’re probably better for it,” he says. “You can’t switch everyone overnight.”
The centre posts the rainbow flag on the home page of its website and on a flag pole in front of the building.
“We got a lot of work done in the year,” he said, adding that all aspects of training, hiring, membership and activities are now done with being LGBTQ-friendly in mind.
It’s these efforts that make Good Companions “culturally competent,” says the Pride Network’s Marie Robertson, who has trained dozens at Ottawa long-term care and day facilities, as well as personal-service providers.
“We train anybody who has anything to do with seniors,” said Robertson, 61, an activist for more than 40 years.
That training, she says, is long overdue.
“When they came out, it was a criminal offence to be gay,” she says, and because that oppressive history still lives in their memory, many still fear being open about their sexuality. She points to one man who was afraid to hold his partner’s hand in the care facility for fear of being caught. In another example, a pre-operative transgender woman was humiliated by the nurse caring for her.
“That breaks my heart,” Robertson says. “These things happen all the time and we’re Ottawa. We’re living in a city where we can get together and do the work that we need to do and do the training.”
Since the Pride Network started in 2008, it has grown to more than 300 members and 100 volunteers.
Robertson says this type of activism is organic for her as a member of the gay liberation generation.
“Now we’re seniors and we’re going to change the seniors community, and that’s exactly what we’re doing. We’re not going back into the closet in order to go into care in our senior years.”
